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Mums , Please stop apologising for needing space to restore yourself. Stop apologising for rest. For pleasure. For being seen. For being more than “useful”. There was a time I carried a heavy kind of mum guilt. I grew up with a mother who devoted herself entirely to us. She kept the house. She cared for everyone. She loved deeply. She is, and always has been, a wonderful mum. But I never saw her choose herself. No hair appointments. No time with friends. No evenings that we

...through a nervous system lens Life-changing experiences that happen to us,  are all experiences that can overwhelm the nervous system and leave lasting imprints. Trauma isn’t defined by the event itself, but by what happens inside us when something exceeds our capacity to cope. For some people, trauma shows up in ways that are recognisable and named: post-traumatic stress responses. Flashbacks. Disturbing dreams. A sense of reliving what happened. A body that feels perman

Many people who have experienced adversity grow up to be exceptionally capable. They are organised. Reliable. Emotionally intelligent in professional settings. They anticipate needs, manage complexity, hold responsibility, and perform under pressure. From the outside, they look confident, successful, composed. And yet, in relationships, they may feel confused, overwhelmed, unsure of themselves, or perpetually disappointed. This contrast can be deeply unsettling. It often carr

This is such a common experience, but rarely talked about For some people, rest feels like relief. For others, it feels like threat. This is a common experience, though it is rarely named. You sit down. You stop. The noise quietens, and instead of calm, something stirs. Restlessness. Guilt. A low-level anxiety. A sense that you should be doing  something, fixing something, staying alert. If this is you, nothing has gone wrong. When you have spent long periods of your life nee

Trauma is not only remembered in the mind. It is held in the body. Common bodily experiences include: feeling constantly alert or on edge living “in your head,” disconnected from physical sensations difficulty being present struggling to feel your body as a whole discomfort with touch or physical pleasure Some survivors experience unexplained physical symptoms, chronic pain, or health issues. Others feel detached from bodily signals such as hunger, fatigue, or pain. Dissociat

Notes on how abuse quietly shapes success, self-worth, and connection Many survivors have been too busy surviving to notice the full impact of what they lived through. When your energy has gone into staying safe, getting through the day, protecting children, keeping things together, or simply enduring, there is often very little space left to ask deeper questions about how abuse may still be shaping your life. For many women, this realisation comes later, sometimes years late